The Bible and Big Dodge
By Rob S. Rice
The humble Dodge Dart is, of all motor vehicles, the automobile most often attested to in the Old and New Testament, at least, in the august King James Version. These are some of the more obvious examples.
To begin, apparently there was a street race involving three such, probably 340 Swingers, through a small town called Absolom, that began in a clump of trees and proceeded through the very center of the town after the starter, a Mr. Joab, began the competition:
2 Samuel 18:14 - Then said
Joab, I may not tarry
thus with thee. And he took three Darts in his hand,
and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while
he was yet alive in the midst of the oak.
Dodge Darts are also the only car whose mass production is attested to in Biblical times, a tribute to the car's solid design and simple, robust construction. They were even a matter of priority in time of war!
2 Chronicles 32:5 - Also he
and built up all the wall that was broken, and
raised it up to the towers, and another wall
without, and repaired Millo in the city of David,
and made Darts and shields in abundance.
Those who carried out or contemplated violence were unable to drive the fine A-bodied vehicles of the Dodge Division:
Job 41:26 - The sword of
him that layeth at him
cannot hold: the spear, the Dart, nor the habergeon.
As they were throughout the modern world, the Darts of ancient times were great successes, very common through ancient Israel, and their speed, solid construction and sheet metal made a Dart's driver safe from danger:
Job 41:29 - Darts are
counted as stubble: he
laugheth at the shaking of a spear.
The owner of a delicatessen had reason to dread the thought of a carelessly-driven A-body crashing through his wall. So great is the strength of the car that it could well penetrate the shop and crash through the refrigerated case at the back of the store:
Proverbs 7:23 - Till a Dart
strike through his liver;
as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that
it is for his life.
Above all, preservation of the cherished Mopars was a matter of concern, even in the New Testament. A good Christian was enjoined to move at once to extinguish such A-bodies as were set on fire by vandals or other malefactors:
Ephesians 6:16 - Above all,
taking the shield of faith,
wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery Darts
of the wicked.
And, if no other means availed, a rampaging beast in a mountain community could, at need, perish under the avenging body of the Dodge Division's finest and most enduring creation:
Hebrews 12:20 - For they
could not endure that which was
commanded, And if so much as a beast touch the mountain,
it shall be stoned, or thrust through with a Dart.
Let us rest easy, then, and know that we happy few who still own and cherish our beloved Dodge Darts are in God's word, God's mind, and, we diligently pray, His good graces. The cars are great, too.
Rob S. Rice